Writer's Diary
3/12/26
Realizing that things do happen for reasons if not A reason: inscrutable and slow moving, moving at the speed of cosmic time, both faster and slower than light.
It seems like every war including war but also including sex and art are won or lost in the mind before they are won and lost in the world; our minds contain pictures of all the outcomes we encounter and create or both.
I’m starting to realize that anyone who didn’t experience adulthood before 2020 might never experience it.
70 degrees on Monday, snowing on Thursday.
The N train rolling slowly across the water, all the faces on the train are turned towards phones, one man sleeps mouth open his head resting against a poll, totally exhausted at 4pm.
Last night I dreamt that I lost my apartment and was sleeping on friends’ couches and I was horrified, in the dream, over my lost of autonomy; I was so grateful to wake up in my own bed in my own studio.
You cannot experience the experience of desire; you can control what you do with that desire once you’ve metabolized it.
The more welcome integrated with machines the stranger the animal parts of us seem.
Bach piano in a sunny room. Pouring sugar into a cup of black coffee. The sublime pouring through my brain.