Reading in the theater late at night. I didn't drink tonight. I feel very awake. I have a lot of commissioned writing that I should be doing, but I need a break from doing things I'm supposed to do. I have to wake up tomorrow and tutor. I was tutoring for two hours before the play started tonight, and before that I had rehearsal, and before that I was tutoring. Before that I went for a run. It's 1 a.m., and for the first time all day I can let my mind truly wander.
I enjoyed tonight's performance at Dover. I just enjoyed being in the theater. I enjoyed rehearsal. I enjoy everything that's disconnected from social media. And I hate any time someone tries to take the singular and the physical and the real and make it something that lives on the Internet.
I really thought the world had gone mad and sick during COVID. Everyone had lost their reason and lost their humanity, but I'm feeling that way now again for different reasons. I'm realizing that the turn towards life online that began during COVID hasn't really ended. People are out in the world, but they're hunting for things that they can take back to the internet. The order of operation is completely reversed.
I love the unremarkable goodness of the ordinary, the musicality, the unremarkable silence and solitude. The raw sensationalism of digital experience makes me crave anything that doesn't overwhelm me or bewilder me: the passions of small and simple things and appropriate emotion and action for the context of the moment. Life fitted to life.