Writer's Diary
7/22/25
I don't know in what sense I mean this—what functional sense I mean it—but I need to learn to be alone again. I need to become emotionally self-sufficient, without seeking to be understood or even loved. I think I'll settle for being respected and enjoyed. I want to regain my focus on my work, my independence, my freedom. For maybe ten years, I've been afraid to do this alone, but the result is that I'm alone anyway. So embrace it no?
Pascal: “the cipher has two meanings.”
I guess everything has become a game, and everyone is competing with each other for likes and clout, and would nevertheless still like to believe in cooperation and love and warmth but can’t— as the clout-lust is too foundational.